All lyrics © 2004 Psylab Studios

Mysterium Tremendum
- words by Leif
When I wrote this I was (and still am) reading a great deal about Zen and the hidden nature of the self and reality. Alan Watts is a particular favorite author of mine.

Bring your mind before me
And I shall lay it to rest
A shimmering dream
Between being and nothing
There’s no difference if you ask
Or decide to remain silent
There are no ideas of tomorrow
There’s only forever today

One concealed by many
Unable to understand
With no ideas of yesterday
There’s only forever today

A hall of broken mirrors
And masks behind masks
Without the darkness
There is no revelation



Birth and Death
- words by Leif
This song is about a friend who committed suicide by leaping off a bridge into a river in 2002, a few days before her birthday. She left a husband and baby girl behind.

Sunlight flares on the liquid sky
My bridge has burnt away
Now too late to change my mind
I’ve drank too much of this bitter wine
Here all is silent and calm
I no longer hear the call
Another beginning, another end
I didn’t want this to happen again

A hole that the rain can not fill
The world flows in but its empty still
Secrets hide in the nothingness
Secrets never to be confessed
Wind and ash and rust
Change everything to dust
My destiny descends on me
Now I rush to rejoin the sea

River carry me
Just like the autumn leaves
At least so near the end
River my final friend
So many things I’ll never be
Now I rush to rejoin the sea



The Devils Tongue
- words by Leif
This one is for a woman that I will always miss. She had long blond hair like golden fire and bright blue eyes. "Withering and Wishing" on the Dreams cd is also about her. Separating from her was one of the most painful things I've ever had to do. The last section is a bit of pessimism I wrote when I was younger.

Deep blue worlds and diamond seas
Golden fire consuming me
Sometimes dreams become reality
Sometimes reality becomes a dream
Memory and uncertainty
We weave our souls from thee
Sometimes dreams become reality
Sometimes reality becomes a dream

Half my soul has fallen away
I dream the taste of yesterday
That golden fire once was mine
Now only seen in memory
Destroying me again and again
Killing me every day since then

I’m all I ever was
Before the dream began
Perhaps I shouldn’t be so empty
But I am
I’m everything I was
Before it all began
I know I shouldn’t be so empty
But I am

There’s nothing worth having
Nothing worth giving
No thought worth thinking
No life worth living

Wheels within wheels
Cages within cages
Shadows within shadows
Lies within lies



As Leaves Fell
- words by Leif
For me, falling in love is very easy and falling out of love is very difficult. In fact I don't think I've ever entirely fallen out of love with anyone, and the memories give rise to pain and longing rather than happiness, even though I know I could never go back. So these words are for someone I loved and who I will always wonder about and miss. I also wrote "Long Lost" on Garden of Remembrance for her.

A grey and heavy sky
Brings the cold I knew would come
Now everything speaks to me of you
And the old wound never heals

I chase your whispering shadow
Through the falling autumn leaves
To touch you just one more
Just once more
My tears can’t bring you back
Was it a mistake to believe?
A slow wind carries my shadow
To wherever you are
I remember
I need to know
I remember
I can’t let those days go